Can I do any better? Part 1
So here’s the skinny on my girlfriend and I. After reading this, please tell me what you think of this situation. Am I a sucker? Can I do any better? Am I totally wrong? Am I crazy? The only thing I can be totally sure of is that this is a dysfunctional relationship for the both of us.
I met this woman about 11 years ago when I was a sophomore in high school through mutual friends. This was a pretty girl who was sweet and showed attention to me. Up until now, I have always settled for women who came to me. I never chased down or tried to talk to anyone I was attracted to. The problem with this girl was that she was nothing like me. I was a well behaved (never really in any trouble as a teen) varsity football player with good grades and a mother who was very much a part of my life and very influencing in a positive way. This girl, let’s call her Nic, had dropped out of school, had already had sex with at least two people (i was a virgin because I just wasn’t ready for the worries that come with sex), liked to drink alcohol (i had been to a house party or two with booze but that really wasn’t my thing) and smoked cigarettes. Nic lived with both her parents but she pretty much just stayed to herself upstairs in her room. Her parents were nice but her dad is a functional alcoholic (case of beer/day it seems) and her mom was, well, she just didn’t have the best parenting skills.
I use to go to Nic’s house a lot. It was cool. I could sleep over and stuff all the time and it was no big deal. Many times her parents weren’t home and we could do pretty much whatever we wanted. We could have other friends come over with alcohol and have a little couples house party all the time. That kind of freedom was fun but it also explained a lot about why Nic turned out to be a bright, beautiful 16 year old who dropped out of school and now did what amounted to nothing all day and had sex with a couple boys really young, drank alcohol, and smoked cigarettes.
I dated nic from around what I am guessing was February 1996 - July or maybe August 1996. We’re only talking about around 6 months, maybe (if Im wrong with my dates). I liked her a lot but of coarse with a girl like this, there are problems. A, I worried what she was doing all the time. While we did everything up to and including “third base”, after a couple months, it seems like she was always pressuring me to have sex with her. I never gave in. I had too much to worry about. I had school, I had football, and I took them both very seriously. Plus, I knew that she wasn’t on birth control (i don’t think) and I also knew that I really didn’t like the way condoms felt on me. I had tried a few on for practice just in case I ever did have sex any time soon and thought they were terrible. Knowing all of this, if I were to start having sex with Nicole, there was a chance of her getting pregnant. I couldn’t do that to myself or my mom. I held out and I’m glad I did.
I called Nic on the phone, a pay phone, from a gas station near my house and told her I didn’t want to see her anymore. I had been hearing from a couple people about this guy named Jason (who I had never seen or met before) and that Nic was seeing him or at least talking to him while talking to me. This didn’t sit well with me. My whole life I had been a good boyfriend, never the “dog”. That was as much true then as it is now. And as true now as it was then, I’ve always gotten fucked over. Back to Jason, this kid called her house while I was there. I answered a time or two and this kid would curse me out. He would say stuff like “Fuck you bitch. Put Nic on the phone.” Wow, very nice. I ended things shortly after that. I couldn’t worry about a girl like this. She wasn’t respectable. I feel I am and always have been.
I didn’t talk to Nic for 10 years after this. There was only one time, when I was about 21, that I saw her leaving a nig ht club when I was arriving. It was weird. We made eye contact but only for a split second. Neither of us can remember if there were any verbal greetings. Maybe a head nod of some sort. I may have smiled. I smile a lot. I also may have been on MDMA (ecstasy). There was a party faze for me back then where I “rolled” a lot. I’m sure she heard about this through mutual friends we had throughout the years. I wonder what she thought after seeing me. I thought of her all ten of the years we hadn’t talked. I thought of her more after that. Nic is hot. She has the best body I’ve ever gotten naked with. To be honest, that’s what I thought about the most. I remember she was sweet but I remember the body the most.
Part 2 coming Soon!
>I found a really nice website for 
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